I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Is it because I queefed?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
