I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
