32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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