no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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