You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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