Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
