she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
