i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
