i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
