I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
