i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
barbara walters just said penis...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
