if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
