you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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