I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
