I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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