But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
