Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
