the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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