what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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