She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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