im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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