Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
