I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
