as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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