roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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