his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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