I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
