i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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