Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
