Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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