Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
