When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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