we have pet lesbian snakes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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