All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
