Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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