its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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