I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
