I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
