the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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