Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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