everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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