Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
