Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
