Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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