Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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