I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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