I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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