hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize