Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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