Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize