I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
