I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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