eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
