It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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