I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
