dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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