Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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